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Nobody Could Have Known (Covid Archive)

With Fauci in the news I'm gonna post some Covid stuff from the archives. Ai has made it easier to cut clips. Here's 2 jokes about the science behind lockdowns. Filmed Dec of 2020. This was pen direct to stage at the Shell in NH. Don't be fooled that they did their best and nobody could have known otherwise.

Bless The Idiots

No reason to punish the survivors of their own stupiditiy.

The Covid Lookback

Taking on Deborah Birx spins on the Covid response

Creative Solutions for defeating Iran

They asked. We provide. Don't do it but here's some ideas for you.

Launch The Turtle Party

It's time to launch the turtle party. Check out full episodes of the RYM podcast and get out to a porch. www.porchtour.com

Poo and Leave an Invasion

Check out full RYM podcasts. Here's the breakdown of the Morocan invasion into spain. Live shows this weekend boston area. www.porchtour.com

Making it up as we go

Nobody knows what's going on in the world, and this is the one show honest about the fact that we're making it up as we go.Fifty thousand fighting-aged men invade a Spanish enclave, take a dump, and turn around and go home — and it remains genuinely unclear who got pranked. Rob offers some creative solutions for Iran, including outsourcing the whole invasion in exchange for half the oil. Trump calls off the biggest military action since World War II for roughly the eleventh time and says the Iranians are secretly begging, no matter what they say in public. The pool vandalism case gets closed for lack of evidence. Todd Blanche decides the weaponization of the Justice Department wasn't so bad once a promotion is on the table. Mamdani hands the podium to someone else rather than say the word "ID" out loud. Lindsey Graham gets filmed taking assignments from Netanyahu on the ICC prosecutor and immediately suggests Speaker Johnson put his name on it instead. Japan gets a bailout that we're not calling a bailout. A naked man survives a jump off the Brooklyn Bridge and gets arrested for it, which is no way to treat a hero. Democratic donors close the checkbook. Massie, MTG, Tucker, and Joe Kent take a photo together and Rob pitches the Turtle Party. And Deborah Birx goes on MSNBC to walk the fence on Fauci while the host begs her to say he's a saint.Extended episode and travel gripes at RobBernsteinComedy.com. Porch Tour dates at PorchTour.com.

Democrats on Fauci - Now's not the time for a lookback

Taking on the Dem's who think reviewing Covid is getting in the way of better health outcomes for Americans.

Looking for some more war $

They need more Cash to keep the non war going. RYM breaks it down.

Fauci: The Lord Of Science loves the Fifth

www.porchtour.com for live dates. Episode starts with the latest from Iran and Trump grifting. Then we move onto the Fauci hearing and how the Dems want us to move forward, the republicans who got Fauci to repeatedly plead the fifth and how the Fauci Enablers in the media are spinning it.Sponsored by:www.Sheath.com Promocode:RYMLonger episode with more content at RobBernsteinComedy.com for $5 to sub. If you want to check it out I accidentally did the first few minutes of paywalled episode publicly on my site which starts of with a conversation about being a hippy on your own time and Female Leg Spreaders.

America Should Go Full Turtle

Audio only Short episode from the porches of Sandpoint Idaho. Back in studio next week wednesday. Covering the Stomach Bug, a political party of podcasters, The Saudia Arabia nuclear deal and the latest from Iran. www.porchtour.com for live dates. I recorded this yesterday. I have video but can't upload it from the road.

Goodbye, Spirit Airlines

Stand-up bit: In memory of Spirit Airlines.

A Gram Of War

Episode kicks of with parody news intro. Not our classiest. Then we've got more on the Gram Man's passing. We move onto if taco bell is causing this nations loose stools. I know I sat on one. Then we've got how Tarrif's are getting in the way of your kids ability to play boring board games and why that might actually keep them from becoming patsies in murder trials. Get your porch tickets: www.porchtour.comHave your porch porched: TheFireTix.comwear my merch on your porch: RobBernsteinMerch.comSit on your porch and watch my extended extremely premium episode: www.RobBernsteinComedy.comWear Sheath On A porch: Sheath.com promocode: RYM

Porching - Episode 1

First episode of Porching — Robbie on the road doing porch shows.

The Iran War 720

Rob breaks down Trump's full 720 back to war with Iran, the Taylor Swift wedding money-laundering theory, a cracked support beam in the old Pfizer building, and a sales-tactics analysis of why Trump's closing moves are finally failing him. Plus Patriot missiles to Ukraine, a Tyler Robinson trial check-in, and the sketchy US-Israel military arrangement.Shorter mid-week drop. See Rob in Galveston Sunday — full dates at RobBernsteinComedy.comSponsor: Sheath Underwear — code RYM for 20% off.Bonus content on RobBernstein.com — $5/mo.

Trump's Reading Material & The Four Levels of Evil

Cold open News intro, then a long weekend recap — gas station idiocy, the roadside sandwich, and why every pool has become a strip club. Into the meat: the MKUltra congressional hearing, the CIA's refusal to be investigated, and a full breakdown of the Four Levels of Evil framework. Then Trump's financial corruption — the 600 tariff trades, the memecoin scheme that fleeced his own fans, the UAE's $250M "investment," and Trump's on-camera defense that his family can't help insider trading because the presidency is just too powerful. Closing with Trump storytime and Marco Rubio pitching a biometric face-scan passport process because that won't go anywhere bad.

Comedian Gets Kidnapped During Porch Tour (Mockumentary)

Stand-up comedy mockumentary from the Summer Porch Tour.

Will The Supreme Court Rule Against Stomach Parasites

Back from the Porch and straight into the nightmare — a Newport storyteller show for liberals, a month-long dealership hostage situation, and the hotel industry's war on your dignity. Then we get into it: the Supreme Court dumped a pile of end-of-term rulings all at once, so we break down birthright citizenship in Trump v. Barbara (and why "it's not the baby's fault" is secretly an argument for total socialism), the Monsanto failure-to-warn case and the corporate immunity loop it creates, plus the campaign finance, trans sports, and presidential removal-power decisions. Also: a life-saving PSA about the summer diarrhea parasite, France blaming America for its own heat wave, Trump's billion-dollar crypto year, the incredible shrinking Iran MOU, and a Twitter Clip Theater closer featuring an MK Ultra hearing, Thomas Massie turning the tables on a Fox reporter, Pam Bondi refusing to admit Coca-Cola isn't nutritious, and the great 350-foot reflecting pool gash mystery.PORCHTOUR.com - upcoming showsRobbernsteinmerch.com - Tees and stuffwww.robbernsteincomedy.com - support the show and watch the extended showSPONSORS:Sheath.com (Promocde: RYM)

The Fauci Reckoning

Topics in order:- In defense of porch people- Lady who stole a garbage can - Trump's botched pool job or vandalism- Are you getting charged more then other people for goods online?- Tulsi Gabbard/ Fauci- Iran war coverage ============Www.porchtour.com Thefiretix.com - sub a porchwww.robbernsteincomedy.com - support the showSheath.com (Promocode:RYM)

Memorandum of What Is This?

The war's over — or there's a "memorandum of understanding," which apparently lets you end a war without resolving anything and still get celebrated for it. First, the nonsense: employees who just stare at you, Delta's baggage-claim betrayal in Minnesota, and Seamless getting officially condemned. Then UFC at the White House, the Iran deal read line by line, Gabbard's Ukraine bio lab receipts, censorship in England, my theory of society, and whether Jim Jordan will ever turn the criminal-informant question back on the FBI.Porches at: www.porchtour.comSubmit a porch: TheFireTix.comMerch at: Robbernsteinmerch.comSPONSORS:Sheath.com (Promocode: RYM)Yokratom.comhttps://jeffkellick.substack.com/s/consequential-actions-podcasthttps://drewbuilders.com/https://www.amazon.com/Survival-Over-Service-Institutions-Manufacture/dp/B0GSS21QQM

DOUBLE BRIDGE & TUNNEL DAY | Trump's War Goes In A Circle

The show's back after a week off, and the host has come to terms with the fact that being productive on weekends is what kills the podcast — so it's back to living like a slob for the good of the audience. Quick update on the move off StreamYard to all-OBS, a Porch Tour recap from Detroit where the crowd turned out to personally know half the Whitmer kidnapping plotters, and then the real story: the Iran war has looped all the way back to "Bridge and Tunnel Day," a ceasefire so durable that both sides keep bombing each other through it.From there: Trump's pitch to rename the country "Trump USA" until he's out of office, a libertarian argument for letting people review medications like movies on Rotten Tomatoes, the quietly walked-back tariffs on tractors and steel, the FBI's business of manufacturing domestic terror plots, and Todd Blanche insisting there's no immunity clause for Trump and his sons while a congresswoman reads him the immunity clause.www.porchtour.com - Live DatesRobBernsteincomedy.com - Support the showRobBernsteinMerch.com - Get MerchTheFireTix.com - Submit a porch (I HAVE TO MANY LINKS)SPONSORS:Sheath.com (Promocode RYM)Yokratom.com

Iran Is Totally Cool Now

Cold open news intro. Followed by the latest in Iran, the seeming DT walk back and you can totally trust them now, they learned their lesson after my spanking. After that we've got the latest nonsense news including Daylight Savings time, Trump Seeing A doctor and more. Closing out the show with NYC Gov supermarkets, Abrego Garcia charges dropped, cops writing tickets to handless drivers and Republican senators mad about the J6 Fun.Support the show: RobBernsteinComedy.comPorch Dates at: www.porchtour.comSubmit a porch at: TheFireTix.comMerch at: Robbernsteinmerch.comSponsors:YOkratom.comSheath.com (Promocode:RYM)

Directed Energy Weapons, Missing Scientists & Foreign War Updates | Kyle Anzalone

Robbie the Fire is joined by Kyle Anzalone of the Kyle Anzalone Show and Antiwar.com for a wide-ranging conversation on conspiracies, war reporting, and the state of the Iran conflict.We open with recent fringe stories — a journalist claiming to be targeted by directed energy weapons after reporting on Epstein's Zorro Ranch, the reality behind Havana syndrome and sonic weapons, the cluster of "missing scientists," and why the government keeps quietly feeding the alien/UAP disclosure narrative. Robbie lays out his FBI entrapment theory ahead of his live show, and we dig into the recent Iran-linked assassination plot cases (Asif Merchant, Farhad Shakeri, Saad Dawood Al-Saedi).From there it's a full war briefing: where Russia-Ukraine actually stands, Biden's NATO weapons-transfer scheme, Russia's shift toward hitting decision-making centers in Kiev, depleted Western interceptor stocks, and how the Iran war is draining US munitions. Plus the real sticking points in the Iran negotiations — the Strait of Hormuz "maintenance fee," Lebanon and Hezbollah, the nuclear enrichment fight — and a frank conversation about Trump's cognitive decline and what comes next.Catch Kyle on the Kyle Anzalone Show. Come see Robbie on the road — jokes and the full FBI entrapment documentation in the live show.